btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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