Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
