What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
