so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
