Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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