Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You may now shotgun with the bride
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
