You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
