Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
