Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
