All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I believe in your delicious
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
