so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The power of my boobs compel you
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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