I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
