I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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