I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
