k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
