I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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