i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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