Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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