Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
