they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Operation Purity has been aborted
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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