i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
