no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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