Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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