I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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