Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
