How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she looked like the before picture.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
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Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize