Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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