i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
