I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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