i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
