Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
