i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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