Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I want to fling myself into the sun
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
