You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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