Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
