youre lurking in front of me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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