first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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