sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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