O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just had sex on a roof
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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