so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
