a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Terrible idea I love it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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