there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
