Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
