My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she looked like the before picture.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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