U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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