I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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