i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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