wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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