and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
