the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
