i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
