i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
