the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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