Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
