But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
