I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
