He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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