Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
