Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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