her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize