so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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