At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
