Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
