i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
