Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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